Vlogmas 2015 Days 20 & 21! Today I show you a bit of my Sugarplum performance preparation plus have a heart to heart chat. I needed to get some stuff out and I always like being honest with you guys.

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53 thoughts on “Heart to Heart

  1. Hi, Kathryn! Don’t EVER let those insecure people get you to think badly of yourself! You are amazing!! 😀 You’re an inspiration to me! You always have been…I can only hope to become a dancer of your caliber! 🙂 It truly broke my heart when you were so upset.. 😦 Really, I was crying along with you, and I wanted to give you a hug, sooooo bad!! You’re beautiful, and so talented. Those people are truly insecure and need to cut you down in order to feel better about themselves. DON”T LET THEM!! Just know that I’m along this journey with you! I’m one of many, ha! We all LOVE you! Keep your chin up, chest back, and just know that my hand is on your shoulder behind you! We’ve got you, we’re all here for you! 😀 I can’t wait for the Challenge coming up! Its gonna be great!! 😀 Hugs to you!! 🙂

  2. Dear Kathryn,

    My name is Livia and I just turned ten years old. I think you are beautiful and I hope to dance like you someday. I have only been studying ballet for a year and half but love it very much. I love your webcast and watch it every time you post something new. I always learn from what you say. I just wanted to tell you that you are an inspiration and hope you continue to teach me. Maybe you need to hear all the good you do and are, so you will not view yourself through the eyes of those that are just bitter. I think you are great and I hope you continue to teach and dance for a long time! I would love to meet you someday! Thank you for always sharing your talent so generously!


  3. Dear Kathryn, You are SO much more than those comments……. you are beautiful in every way; on the inside AND the outside. As you know (and I say this to my own kids)…you can only control your own behaviour. If people are making unkind remarks it’s because it’s their issue; not yours.
    I’m a middle-ages mom of 3 who still loves to dance and takes class regularly; I did my very first Nutcracker this past weekend as a party guest in scenes 1 and 3 and YOU were my inspiration!!! Don’t change a thing; just keep growing along your own beautiful and unique path.
    Love and hugs to you….. Catherine Hakes

  4. Kathryn…you are truly an inspiration and touch more lives and hearts than you will ever know.

    I work with people in life-work transition, many are creatives, and your story, your blog, your videos are something I share frequently with my clients. And, after not dancing for 25+ years, you have inspired me to dance again.

    It is your gentle and sensitive heart that reaches out to touch all of us… you have extraordinary gifts as a dancer, and your wisdom as a woman who has experienced both triumph and pain, does and will continue to inform your art and positively impact the world.

  5. To all those little minion haters, look on the mirror, that’s who you really hate…… yourself.
    Kathryn you have nothing to apologize for; look one day later you are helping another student with questions. You are beautiful in every way and your journey back to the stage is one of courage and determination. These are the ingredients for success. And you already are a huge success. So you just keep sparkling and doing your thing. It is never a bad thing to cry, that is the way the mind heals itself. You never looked more lovely. So have a wonderful Christmas and hopefully I will be there in DC.
    Oh yeah , I have gut feeling your shows will sell out.


  6. People who make these comments are unhappy people and enjoy making others unhappy. Whoever makes those comments, doesn’t know or care to know your story Perhaps, they aren’t able to achieve the success you have achieved and you continue to achieve and they are jealous. My gosh, you get your own show!!! Who gets to do that? :-). Remember a lyric from a Taylor Swift Song – Haters are gonna, hate, hate, hate….There is always going to be some of that. You are breaking through the stigma of what is considered a “ballerina body” and proving that other ballet body types are just as talented and beautiful. That you don’t have to be stick thin. You are showing young dancers after a long illness, you still can go out there and pursue your dream with hard work and perseverance. The videos show your talent, artistry and technique is still there and I think your dancing is BEAUTIFUL, just as you are inside and out. You are wise beyond your years and your honesty and openness is a perfect way to be connected to you. Keep doing what you love to do. You inspire dancers of all ages. You inspire me, a much older adult, to get back to ballet class! Doesn’t that make your heart swell? 🙂 Keep smiling! We LOVE you Katie! ❤

  7. Wow. I can’t believe you had to see such nastiness, but I’m so glad to see all the comments on here supporting you! I think I’ll quote more Taylor Swift: “People throw rocks at things that shine”. I don’t blame you for being upset, and I’m so sorry you had to see that junk right after a (I’m sure) *wonderful* performance! Be well, and know that for every troll out there you have thousands more who support your journey and believe in you! : )

  8. Kathryn,

    Here’s the only thing big about you –
    The other truth is the fact that you are changing lives, and your legacy goes way beyond the all too short lifetime of a dancer’s career. There are thousands of talented people on this earth, but the one’s that hold something even greater than their skill will be the ones that shine. The people that selected you for your awards saw that in you, and each day you get to share this with more and more people through this wonderful platform you created.
    I think people fal into two categories, those that are often unkind to themselves, and those that are unkind to others. The latter group really are unhappy with themselves but they bury that and take it out on other people instead.
    And please don’t apologize. You weren’t ranting, you were being real, and that is a true rarity.
    I understand the vulnerability of putting yourself out there. I stopped dancing at one point because of the meanness of a few teachers that criticized my weight .Even the piano accompaniest would say to me and me alone,, ” You better lay off those cookies “, ” You better stop it with that candy ” out loud , for others to hear,c as I finished my combination across the floor and walked past the piano. I was 12 and 13 years old, this was a prestigious school, and I wasn’t heavy at all. In fact, several of the girls had a larger body type than me. This affected me and my happiness and my life for a long time. I’m not saying this as a victim. I’m saying this to thank you, for I’m sure I would have continued with my dancing career if you ( and the internet lol ) had been around in the 80s.
    But now I teach dance and do choreography in NYC , one of my dreams, and I feel the same way when I have a setback or feel rejected. Just the other day I cried and said to myself , ” why are you doing this, making yourself so vulnerable to criticism and rejection ? “. But then I can look at your blog and know that i doI want to keep going. Sorry for this long message. I just want to tell you all that we see and to always remember you are needed and you are loved by so many.
    Thank you ,
    Lisa ( A C Adler is hopefully one day my pen name that I use on social media lol )

    1. Hi Lisa. Thank you so much for this. It completely made my day. I am so sorry you had to go through that as a child. How horrible. I appreciate you taking the time to tell me all of that! You are the best! Much much love to you!

  9. Kathryn- You are very beautiful and an inspiration. Those people must be jealous. I think your body is beautiful right now and more importantly so is your soul. Thank you for sharing real moments.

  10. I love everything about your channel. Your joy and excitement for life are beautiful and unique; we are here for you! 🙂

  11. I think you’re absolutely amazing! It’s tragic when there are people who seem to have a need to be cruel, who take pleasure in hurting others and doing so anonymously, which is really spineless. There are dancers and there are dancers who transcend merely dancing and become artists, and you are one of them!

    I go to see the NYC Ballet quite often as I live here, and Peter Martins obviously knows what he’s doing and he was absolutely right when he called you one of the greatest talents. You are talented, and that talent won’t go away, it’s in you. But what’s more is you’re willing to share this talent with us, you generously share your talent, your knowledge, and your story. That’s pretty amazing actually! I hope all these comments have made you feel better! I have never commented here, but felt that I had to this time.

    2016 will be your year, you’ll see! We are all rooting for you!

  12. Thank you for being real and authentic! You are such a beautiful, poised and talented person and so strong in so many ways. I am sorry that there are people who are so cruel and unkind. The way you share your kindness, talent and generous spirit will always be an inspiration for so many. I wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas and a healthy, joyous New Year!

  13. Hello Kathryn! I am a twelve year old dancer that takes dance at Mobile Ballet, where you used to take!!! People who say things like that probably love doing it to everyone. The saying is true: misery loves company. Besides, not every ballerina will be super skinny! I’m certainly not, and I am working at it, just like you are!! Don’t listen to those mean people, because really, we all know THEY are not perfect! And, you definitely should still dance, because it is your thing! You are amazing at it, and especially for Peter Martin’s to say that about you, that is a COMPLIMENT!! Again, don’t let nasty comments get to you! And, keep doing your videos! Your videos made my mom get back into ballet!! She is taking ballet classes!
    So, don’t worry about the people that make you feel bad about yourself. Just ignore them!
    Have a very Merry Christmas and a HappyNew Year!!!

  14. I’m so sorry to hear about those aweful comments. You don’t deserve this. I think you are so kind and I admire you for many reasons.
    You show us how you can deal with health issues in a positive way. Also you show that if you really love doing something, there is always a way to do this.
    Please don’t stop sharing your world.
    Have a very merry Christmas and a happy new year!

  15. I’m so sorry to hear about those aweful comments. I can’t imagine why someone does that. You are so kind.
    I admire you for the way you deal with your health and how you stay positive. I also think you are an example for us all in doing what you love to do most. You show that it’s possible to find new ways to reach your goal.
    Thank you for being you and sharing that with us.

  16. I never comment on the internet -ever, but I just wanted to let you know that as someone who loves dancing classically but whose body doesn’t really suit it and often rebels on me, it’s really nice and gives me some hope to see someone dealing with their body not cooperating and yet still managing to dance at a professional level. Also, I was so impressed by those attitude turns!

  17. Hi Katie I just wanted to let you know I huge inspiration you are too me . At the grand old age of 43 I decided I wanted to achieve a life long ambition of being about the teacher , I trained every day to enable me to achieve this goal there were very few I don’t classes so I had to take class with smaller children times I felt silly to say the least as you can imagine the children would think it was highly amusing but I still on at times wondering what I was doing !!! I am now 57 and thoroughly enjoying teaching I like to teach adults who are beginners because there is little out there for that here in England . Your advice and tips have been so helpful and I look forward to your posts I think you’re a true inspiration with a lot of talent you are an amazing young lady and don’t you ever forget that . I am hoping to come to New York to watch the Kennedy Centre keep up the good work and have an amazing Christmas love Susie

  18. Katie, please continue on blogging — it’s been extremely inspirational watching you work so hard for your dreams despite the health struggles. I’ve also had a personal set back, and it’s been difficult to keep a positive attitude. And then I see you, and how you’re documenting everything and sharing these struggles with the rest of us — which is so BRAVE (I’ve only kept things to myself, but hopefully, one day I can be as brave about sharing as you are today). I don’t know how you keep being gracious and positive, but whenever I need to acquire some courage for the day, I turn to your videos. I never post on any videos, but I just couldn’t let those shrill naysayers have the last comment. As an art form, ballet has to change in order to reflect times. Let the naysayers argue their ideals of perfection in a coffin. I’d rather watch you as grow as an artist while facing your health struggles. It makes what you do compelling, relatable, and modern. You’re bringing the art form to people who usually don’t watch it (me), and making it relevant again. Keep on fighting the good fight, I’m cheering you on and sending my best wishes for health and dancing.

  19. Hi Kathryn,
    I’m in shock over this situation on your Instagram! It always amazes me how mean people can be for no reason. I watched your Instagram video many times and all I could think was how marvelous you looked and how amazing your partner was-using only 1 hand! Why anyone would go to a mean/hateful place after seeing that video makes no sense. The only reason that comes to mind is because they are people who are so jealous of your success both past and what is yet to come that they need to make themselves feel better by trying to cut you down. Never let those fools squash all the good you have done and are doing for yourself and for the community you have created here. I learned over the years that there are people who are never satisfied and nothing is ever good enough for them. As a child, I was made fun of because I was too thin! I was asked on a daily basis if I had an eating disorder. Coupled with the fact that I was always dancing and never involved in anything sports related or after school club wise, and people just didn’t know what to do with me, so they made fun of me. Now, all these years later, I look back on my pictures and my body and I miss it! And I see they strange version of myself in pictures, which I hate. In my mind I am still that dancer with a dancer’so body but then I see myself in the mirror and I am appalled at what I see. Plus, I think about all the people who told me I was too skinny and how they must look at my pictures and laugh at the fact that I’m “just like them now”. Since finding you and your channel and all you post I realize I can get back to the me I know I can be. So thank you for not listening to all the mean and cruel people in this world. They are just cowards sitting behind a computer screen. They don’t deserve our time or emotion. And thank you for inspiring me and reminding me that once you are a ballet dancer you are always going to be a ballet dancer regardless of what anyone says! I can’t wait to start your challenge.
    One question: how do your online classes work? I am thinking of giving myself that as a Christmas present!

  20. Kathryn,
    You look like the quintessential ballerina. That is because of your talent, your grace, the emotional content of your dancing, your impeccable technique, and so much more. I’m an older dancer who came to ballet in ‘late’ middle age. I love following your channels and your energy, spirit and grace have been infinitely motivating for me. So much more so than any dancer currently at a nationally known company. Social media is a cruel place – you can see that on most YouTube postings. It is sad that so much negativity is in the human heart. It can only come from a place of inadequacy and insecurity in those who post hateful comments. I can’t believe your bravery in exposing yourself to that potential cruelty – but know that you are helping and inspiring thousands of dancers through your bravery. We are all here for you! (BTW – can’t wait for the calendar!) (BTW2 – this is my first ever internet comment.)

  21. Hi Katie – I work online and have to tell you that trolls gwill say mean, horrible things about anything. Literally anything. It’s some sort of crazy power thing for them. Don’t take it personally, because it’s all about them, not about you. You have so many fans and we all love everything you do. My best advice is to read comments with a soft focus and skip over anything too painful. it’s not about you. You rock! Don’t ever stop, and don’t ever less trolls get you down. There’s no way in the world they deserve your time or attention. Those of us who love you do, though! ❤

  22. Kathryn, Maybe there are 1-2 trolls out there. Remember the THOUSANDS of dancers that love you. You are an inspiration and just beginning your comeback. The trolls are usually ones that feel bad about themselves. And an offer. I am a new costumer and if you would ever like a real Aurora tutu, let me know. 🙂 I would make you one for cost of materials. I would love to make you feel even more beautiful than you are. I hope you have the most beautiful costumes for Kennedy.

    1. Emma!! Thank you so much for your comment. You are too kind. And thank you for the offer! I would love to see your work! Do you have any photos? I am actually in the process of working on costumes for Kennedy Center.

      1. Hi Kathryn,
        I will link you to my pinterest page with my projects. I am a mother of a dancer and trained this past summer through tutuschools with Claudia Folts. I learned classical tutu and bodice. Since then I have done several classical tutus for my daughter and I made a Dewdrop and Sugarplum costume for my daughter’s dance school here in Birmingham. I am currently working on a tiered Kitri skirt for my daughter but its not done yet. I plan to expand my learning this spring and summer to include romantic tutus (March) and stretch bodices and leos this summer.

  23. You are amazing. As someone who’s danced professionally for three years, I am SO inspired by your talent, your determination, and your professionalism. Thank you for sharing your story; keep shining your light as you dance!

  24. I’m behind on watching your blog but caught up tonight. I’m a mom of an aspiring ballerina and we think you are amazing and a true inspiration. My daughter has faced so many injury challenges and keeps on pursuing her dream too. I share your blogs and tips with her all the time and you give her so much hope. Please block out the haters! We love you and the good you are doing!

  25. Kathryn, I’ve been so inspired by your journey! I’m a 35 year-old pharmacist who started dancing at age 30; I love pointe and really appreciate your tips and comments! In my professional life I’ve also experienced extremely hurtful comments that made me feel like I was a terrible clinician who didn’t know what she was doing. The difficult times led me to surround myself with uplifting, supportive friends, and ultimately led me to a job I love! My heart really went out to you in your Vlog; I know what it feels like to be attacked. Please hold your head up high and continue to follow your passion; when you’re my age you’ll look back on these events and realize they helped mold you into a strong, resilient woman.

    1. Hi Kelly! Thank you so much! I truly appreciate it. I am so sorry you have experienced that as well. You were so kind to share you story. So glad you have found a new job that you love! Best to you!

  26. Kathryn, you are so incredibly courageous to share every part of your journey with all of us. You make a difference to many of us, each in our own way, possibly much more than you will ever know. In fact, I just discovered your wonderful YouTube videos and lessons this morning. It reignited my passion to do ballet again, even if just with your videos, just for myself. Ballet gave me such pure joy when I started as an adult nearly 20 years ago, and nothing else ever came close. Your words, your lessons and your journey are such an inspiration, I really believe that I can find that again. It is truly a wonderful gift you give to all of us. I do hope you’ll keep sharing. Thank you and happy holidays!

  27. Katie I have been dealing with kind of the same thing. I don’t have a dancer body and I definitely am not a natural ballet dancer so I can kind of relate. Don’t let the haters get you down! no matter what they say you are a beautiful ballet dancer who has gone through much and has lots to show for it! Jesus loves you even if the stupid people on the internet don’t! I totally understand the feeling of why am i doing this and what is the purpose. In 2012 I broke both of my bunions on my feet and had to quit ballet for 8 months. It was one of the most devastating days of my life when at the end of those 8 months the doctor told me I couldn’t ever dance again because my feet wouldn’t heal. In August however my parents surprised me by letting me try out for the Ballet New Braunfels Nutcracker ,since I had never been in it before and had always wanted to, as a kind of farewell to ballet for good. I started classes again and did the show and when the spring semester came my mom asked if it hurt too much or if I wanted to keep dancing and I immediately told her that I wanted to dance I have now been on pointe for 2 years and danced for 3 years on broken feet. Nutcracker this year was ridiculous because I was in tears almost every time I came off that stage and I had to be on pointe and on stage for the entire show so I had to keep going. Everyone depended on me. Everyone looked to Clara to guide them and keep a smiling face. Also I wouldn’t tell anyone because I knew that they would only tell my mom and she would make me stop dancing. My dream is to dance and as much as every time I dance it is incredibly painful I have kept a straight face about it and this is really the first time I have ever told anyone my whole story. You dancing no matter what your body shape may be now and posting videos and keeping everything you do up no matter what has been such an inspiration! You have helped me keep going through the pain and you have helped me know that I don’t have to be perfect to do what I love as long as I love doing it. Thank you so much for everything and don’t give up on the wonderful work you do! Please keep posting and Merry belated Christmas!

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